I got a little distracted studying communications and decided to drop her one of my monthly sms asking about her well-being and wishing her a good night's sleep about 24hours back. I cannot exactly remember the time but it wasn't late to begin with. Like Many of the gazillion text messages i sent her, she hasn't even replied any since a good one year ago. Ok yes, thats stage nine of Knapp's model, avoiding me (Im obviously not avoiding her) giving the "hint".
She has sealed the channel of communication from me in more ways than one. Not a single word despite one of those lovey dovey stupid boxes that contains goods seeking one's atttention and reconcilation appearing at her doorstop about a month back.Well, to be honest, i fear this..........whatever you wished to call it....is already one and a half foot in Stage 10. No calls, emails, letters, or even replies. Guess that qualifies for stage 10 doesn't it? A capsized boat in the Bermuda triangle, at least from my point of view. I could also link this relationship disengagement strategy to behavioural de-escalation; totally avoiding contact from me.
I'm gonna leave you people here,silence isn't that golden afterall is it?
The Cold ShoulderThe anxiety of waiting for a text you know will never come is excruciating for one's soul. Believe me, espeically if a text comes from another in the midst of your wait.
(If you're out there, i hope to hear from you.) -----------------------------------------> Message Sent.
Source : 1) Me, Myself and a girl called M
8 comments:
hey, we've all been there.
it's tough to not have your feelings reciprocated, but ask yourself this: what do you want for her?
the only answer should be that you want her to be happy. and if it makes her happy to be on her own right now, then you should help her achieve that.
after all, she might just be going through a phase of identity diffusion, trying to find herself before she is ready to contact you again. hang in there!
Honestly, I think perhaps you should give it rest. If she wants to contact you, she would if she's ready. The more you try to force it, the more she might resist.
Part of not being able to let go is because one is holding on to the idea that this person is the best/last that one can ever get. But life is full of opportunities. Don't deprive yourself of them.
i totally agree with zed and rachel, and i too have a similar story, gladly to be shared with you over a round of drinks any day. and just to add, as cliche as it may sound, time heals everything, as long as it may take. jump over the wall and look outside, it's still a beautiful place (:
get yourself a beer mate. drop all your worries and problems.. mushroom would be good too.
screw stage10. stage1-5 is better. many people out there to cherish that with you.
"sealing all channels of communication.."
Hmmm funny how i relate to that very well.
I feel you. .
Be it Knapp's model or message sent.
Hi terence, I thinnk i've told you my old experience before, so you know I know how you feel.. it certainly hurts when you want nothing better than to talk to someone, and that someone purposely seals off communications against you.
But yeah like what a few others have said, keep your mind open..
I totally understand how you are feeling. its never easy to be in your situation.
i feel bad trying to link how you are feeling to comms but here goes..
partners in the same relationship go through differing stages in the same relationship.
But dun worry im sure that with time. things will get better.
takecare
dear terence
when one door closes on you, there is always another one eagerly waiting for you to open it. every cloud has its silver lining. i guess things like that happen to people every once in a while, not because God hates you, wants you to be punished and makes you feel miserable.. but He is giving you a chance to grow with adversities, to make you a stronger person.
i agree with rachel, do not deprive yourself. don't worry, there will always be someone out there for all of us. you just have to wait :D:D
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